Dr Octogon Enters the Squared Circle: RAW Review 02/13/2012
RAW starts out in one of the most terrible ways possible: Jerry Lawler in the the ring moderating a 6-way debate between the Elimination Chamber participants. It could only have been worse if Michael Cole was recounting Hulk Hogan’s career to John Cena. Luckily, these men are good on the mic and even Kofi held his own with some of the best. Jericho goes after CM Punk, lending to the theory that it will be Punk v Jericho at Wrestlemania. Kofi finishes the segment with a Trouble in Paradise to the back of Jericho’s head.
The next segment comes back to a match in progress between Jericho and Kofi. This was a pretty good match that went a long way to pulling the show out of the toilet. They actually let Kofi get out of the Walls of Jericho, but unfortunately he didn’t get the win despite TWO Trouble in Paradise moves.
We get a couple of good enough backstage segments. John Cena expositioning to a wheel chair bound Zack Ryder and Otunga and Laurinaitis plotting some scheme to take over RAW and Smackdown. We will see if they ever mention it again.
Next, we got a Super Show match between Orton and Big Show since they have some sort of grudge now. I guess the Viper’s voices prevent him from watching a tv screen. Daniel Bryan continues to pick at the Big Show and I think they are setting up more and more Bryan dropping the title this weekend.
Marks loved the HBK and HHH ring segment but it was mostly horrible when you really look at it. HHH actually saves most of this segment with the fourth wall admission about the Undertaker being just a brand. But this was a waste of HBK. It was pretty boring and a ham handed way of pressing a match that really doesn’t need to happen. Worst of all, once again, they come out and put their generation over all the other wrestlers in the back. Talk about bad for business.
And then the Undertaker video package that was almost exactly the same as last weeks. Blah. At least try to make this match stimulating. And he cut his hair off. Oh my. That will sure get HHH in the ring. Who is writing this crap?
Hey, at least we can get back to some wrestling now. Sadly, it is a pretty quick match between R-Truth and Dolph Ziggler. Fortunately, it was a very good match in which both men continue to prove why they should be in main events.
Tamina Snuka faced one of the completely untalented Bellas. The match did not end quickly enough. The only thing in worse shape than the Divas division is the Tag Team division.
Sweet, they followed that toilet bowl of a match up with ANOTHER awful Rock video package. Thanks for trying to waste this entire show, WWE. God, I really don’t know if CM Punk and The Miz can save this show.
And then we finally get, maybe the funniest unintentionally funny segment in wrestling history. First off, they asked Eve to act some more which is hilarious. But even more, we can call this the “John Cena is a dick” segment. He and Eve start making out right in front of a crippled Zack Ryder. And he was just trying to bring those flowers to his girlfriend. No wonder Cena tried to get Ryder to stay in his locker room. Cena wanted that fine piece all to himself. What a jerk.
AND then we come back from commercial to some more awesomely hilarious acting from Eve. Wow, she must have lost a bet. It is a good move putting her in this love triangle with Cena because she can make him look good by comparison when he tries to emote anything.
The main event is a fairly good match between CM Punk and The Miz. I would like to see these guys feud one day, but the match wasn’t quite good enough to pull the show out. But we are such lucky viewers, the show clumsily lumbers on and by some string of logic Kane brings the ambulance back to the arena.
Michael Cole, the reason we haven’t seen an ambulance match in a decade is because they suck and they are not interesting by any measure of the definition. John Cena comes out and apologizes for trying to put it in Ryder’s woman. The crowd is more anti-Cena than any in a very long time. The Cena hate is even worse than when CM Punk was killing him with the mic. It seems this Kane storyline is actually crafting the reaction they want.
Kane comes out, hurts Ryder some more, Eve is around for some reason even though she is obviously terrible in almost every way. This has all set up Kane vs Cena rather well, but the show was pretty slow and sloppy, even for a go home show. Overall, this Monday’s RAW was underwhelming and earns a 6.9 out of 10.0.