Jake

The site was having some editing issues so I got behind a but this week, so here we go from ECW on Tuesday.

ECW 08/04/09
ECW was hit and miss tonight. It started out with some piss poor banter between Zak Ryder, Shelton Benjamin and Abraham Washington on the terrible Abraham Washington show. Anyone else think it is stupid this dill-hole had been called up for a month and still has not wrestled? They didn’t really need this situation to spark a feud between Ryder and Benjamin. I guess this also cuts Tyler Reks out of his feud with Ryder. Later, they had a goofy Hurricane segment but it gave me an excuse to see GM Tiffany. My favorite segment of the night was Goldust and Sheamus. They mostly had a very traditional mat wrestling contest with Sheamus finishing from a normal move instead of a finisher. Very old school. I like the dynamic they have working ECW with the veteran stars, Christian, Regal, Dreamer, Goldust, capable of training and guiding the young stars in a real setting. The Main Event was the Christian vs Dreamer ECW Championship match under extreme rules. Meh, as far as hardcore matches go, this was pretty tame. One aspect of the Dreamer/Christian/Swagger feud had been the wrestling, but hardcore pretty much eliminates that. Besides, weren’t all ECW title matches supposed to be contested under extreme rules? And a hardcore match involving Christian without a single Con-Chair-To? Come on guys.



C+




WWE Superstars 08/06/09
I thought this was a subpar Superstars for the most part but it had entertaining aspects. Santino for one was great even in a glorified squash match to Chris Masters. In tag team action, Regal and Burchill defeated Yoshi Tatsu and Tyler Reks. This was a pretty good match. Yoshi is getting a decent push and I do not know where they are going with Reks, but Regal and the Burchills, Katie Lee and Paul, had great chemistry as a group. The main event featured Rey Mysterio against Mike Knox with Dolph Ziggler as the guest announcer. Knox once again showed a lot of talent but the match was on the way to the typical Mysterio ending when Ziggler interfered to cause the DQ. I did not really enjoy Ziggler behind the headphones. Either he did not know what he was doing or he was not prepared properly for that role. Maybe he didn’t like Vince yelling in his ear.



B-




TNA Impact
I had been reading about this episode of Impact that would be so crazy and so chaotic because it would feel like a riot. Well, it did in ways and was still a bit of a letdown. The night started off with Main Event Mafia and World Elite, the Eric Young lead foreigner faction, joining forces. Let’s pause to get this straight, MEM now contains their guys, the Nation of Violence guys and the World Elite guys. Because they didn’t say they were just going to watch each other’s backs. It sounded like the same angle they came at Joe with; that MEM was hiring them to be associated with them. So they have a few matches and do some promos building up the idea that it is the TNA originals vs MEM/WE/NoV. This might be interesting if it were not exactly the same thing they did after MEM formed. Anyone remember the TNA Front Line? Me neither really since that arch amounted to nothing. So they have a big 8-Man tag match with Beer Money and Team 3D vs British Invasion, Steiner and Booker T. This is the match that devolves into a brawl featuring almost the whole locker room. However, the brawl had a couple of notable exceptions: Homicide, Hernandez, AJ Styles, and Matt Morgan. The brawl went everywhere, it was super violent, continued for a couple of segments and even had some humor tossed in. All-in-all it was executed nicely and got the point across. However, two things weakened it. Russo or whoever did almost the exact same thing with the n.W.o and since the MEM is already a lot like the n.W.o it all seemed rehashed. At one point during the broadcast, Mike Tenay draws a comparison to the n.W.o brawl, saying even that was nothing like this but that still makes the audience think rip-off. Sigh, is there a broadcast school he can attend. They had some other wrestling during the night, Morgan evened up the series against AJ, Sting squashed Brutus Magnus, Knockout segments not involving the Beautiful People so I did not care, and another mini-brawl at the end that Hernandez clears out with a twirling chain. this is probably all the natural escalation that the Front Line/MEM confrontation should have taken but someone, presumably Jeff Jarret, interfered with Vince Russo’s plans. Now with Jeff at home, Vince is returning to his killed story. Here is the problem: we know that Russo has had major creative control over two runs in TNA, S.E.X. during the early years and now MEM. They are both very similar to the n.W.o, not to mention the new n.W.o in WCW, and then New Blood towards the end of WCW. All very similar to these story lines and all contributing to the feeling this has all been overdone by him. That and the chaotic nature of the last couple of weeks of Impact really didn’t feel all that different from the riot.



C-




Smackdown 08/07/09
I don’t know about this one. I wish last weeks show had lived up to its great final segment because my faith in Michael Hayes is starting to waiver. I am not saying he has lost; I am just saying some of the circumstances seem too contrived for their own good. The last two weeks of shows have been packed with quality and close chances to be great, but nothing ever pays off until the last segment. The show was billed to start off with a Title match between Hardy and CM Punk. The two brawl and the match never starts so Mr McMahon comes out and reschedules it for the main event. He also adds a special guest enforcer, who is pretty predictable if you think back to who was drafted and traded around recently. Morrison has a very good match with Tyson Kid, defeating him but it is a weird consolation for his awesome main event performance last week. By the way, since when did the Hart Dynasty become jobbers to the stars? After the Cryme Tyme “Word Up” segment, Slam Master J gets his first match since he adopted his new gimmick against Charlie Haas. I commend Hayes in trying to keep his old tag partner’s kid employed. Still, I don’t know how long Jesse will be around. I have never understood why Charlie Haas was an eternal jobber either, oh well. Next, Dolph Ziggler wins a fatal four way for a shot at the Intercontinental title at “Summerfest”, that almost came out and said he was going to win on Superstars. It was a good match but we all knew the results. JTG defeated Chris Jericho, meh. Normal build up for the PPV match. The Great Khali beat Ricky Ortiz in one of the fastest matches ever and then Kane came out to remain involved on “time-filler” feud number 2. In the back, their was some crap-tastic segment where Maria explained why she is boning Doplh Ziggler. Really stupid and no need. On to the main event, it is revealed that special enforcer is none other than…Matt Hardy *gasp*. Yeah, kind of saw it coming and from his very first interactions with Jeff, kind of saw the results of the match coming, too. It was a decent match, but Jeff Hardy did absolutely nothing hardcore or extreme, of course. The specter of whatever contrived thing they were going to pull off to keep the title on Jeff really dampened my enjoyment of the match. And then finally, there it was. Hey, we will have Matt Hardy play angry moron. Jeff will be acting like a little bitch, like always, and stand in front of Matt, arguing with him and with his back to the ropes. Punk will slide at Jeff and Matt will obviously see Jeff move causing Punk to knock Matt back. But no, Matt will be angry at Punk and then pull the ref out as Punk is about to win then get in an argument with Punk and then quick count an easy pin for Jeff to retain. Blah, why could they not execute this better? I do not have a problem with Matt counting the win for Jeff, I think their feud is a dead end anyway. I think there were two possible outcomes of Matt Hardy’s return. Matt costs Jeff the title, they have a huge match at say Hell in the Cell, Jeff gets hurt, and then Jeff takes some time off. Or they reconcile, Punk hurts Jeff, then Matt and Punk feud for the title. After Matt leaves the ring, Punk brutalizes Jeff again and it is great just like last weeks. Then Teddy Long makes them a rematch for “Summerfest” in a TLC match. this could go a lot of different ways but I don’t know how many of them are satisfying. If Matt is going to stay heel, I think they should have the Hardys reconcile over the next couple of weeks, then Matt gets added to the TLC, and then Matt betrays Jeff there. He could even become the champion then. If Matt is turning face, they should have them both struggle with it a bit but I do not know where it should end up. I fear that it would just turn into a normal Punk/Matt Hardy feud away from the title and that would be the end of both of their main event careers. Hopefully, before Jeff takes his time off, they can move the title over to Punk while turning Matt face in a believable way. I think Matt and Punk would work a really good dynamic with Matt coming from a place that he could throw all Punk’s rhetoric back in his face.



B-

RAW was a little interesting tonight; weird but one of the better ones in a long time. The “wrestling show” was good but the guest host stunk for almost the entire show. They started to set up the the MVP and Swagger feud that will hopefully propel them both into stardom. MVP came out and rescued Evan Borne from a beatdown after his match with Swagger. The wrestling in the match was good but it was the squash match everyone expected last week. There was another excruciating Divas’ tag match, this time Mickie James & Gail Kim vs Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall. Presumably, this will set up a program between Mickie and Beth for the title. Next was the surprisingly interesting Legacy vs HHH handicap match. I was watching it thinking, they are just going to have HHH go “Huntor the Destroyer” and win this but they should finally really push Rhodes and DiBiase with a good win. Low and behold, they booked this match exactly the way I would have. Especially since at the beginning of the match, the wife asked what HBK has been up to and I said he would be back in about 5 and half minutes. And then at the end, HHH slips into his DX persona and tells them he is going to make a phone call. This was a little trite since I was hopeful they would run Legacy beating HHH for a couple of months and then Shawn Micheals coming back at a PPV to help him. But then later they had another good segment where “Micheals” hung up on HHH. There will probably be a DX reunion at Summerslam but I would like to see HHH run solo for a bit. Here is what I would book. The rumor is that they want to turn DiBiase face and feud with Orton at some point. I would bulk up Legacy a bit with a couple or more members; Carlito and Chavo fit the theme and Swagger and Chris Masters fit the group look. When Batista comes back HHH puts a group together to battle Legacy with Batista and HBK. They have some kind of big confrontation at a PPV, and DiBiase reveals himself to be part of the group, thus forming a new Evolution to feud with Legacy. Mark Henry vs Chavo Guerrero was one of the disappointments of the show. Henry was seconds from facing Orton for the title last week and now he was involved in a Hornswaggle story. Also, I am pretty sure Henry tried to kill Hornswaggle at one point on ECW. The Big Show vs Kofi Kingston for the US Title was a really nice segment of the show. Kofi got to show off a bit, they got to put the Big Show over some more since they have spent months crapping on him, and Jericho got to make an appearance at the announce table. The disqualification finish was a nice way to keep the strap on an up and comer. The main event was a Lumberjack match between Cena and The Miz, and with The Miz being banned from RAW with a loss. The match was so-so but the best thing was the heel turn by Jeremy Piven. I was thinking that he may have should have been a heel the whole time, because he was almost as bad as ZZ Top the rest of the show. Randy should have intimidated him much earlier in the show. Also, they only surrounded the three sides of the ring, so I am pretty sure it wasn’t really much of a Lumberjack penalty. So I guess The Miz is banned from RAW. Maybe Piven should be banned, because at least The Miz can remember his lines.

RAW Guest Host Rankings
1. Ted DiBiase
2. Shaq
3. Seth Green
4. Batista
5. Jeremy Piven
6. ZZ Top
7. Donald Trump

Sgt. Slaughter is next week. We will see, former wrestlers are 50/50 so far.

Smackdown
The show was a little slower than I have become accustomed to in the past couple of months. And honestly, I was disappointed for most of the show. They finally lined up the feud between Jericho/Big Show and Cryme Tyme that they have been alluding to for some while. I think some good fruit can come of this tree but in order to keep interest in the Unified Tag Championships they are going to have to start including some other angles for 3 or more teams competing. The Women’s division is pretty much inadequate outside of Melina but they are doing their best to put the Undertaker’s woman, Michele McCool over now. I wish we could see more Layla but outside of being super hot she really has no reason to be in wrestling. We can call her the UK-Maryse. Well, that may be harsh, she does have more mic and ring talent than Maryse. They have absolutely no idea what they are doing with Kane and the Great Khali and it shows. I love that Michael Hayes knows exactly how to book all these mid-size and smaller wrestlers but in the VKM valet-less world Hayes does not know what to with big men that do not have a Mr Fugi, or Bobby Heenan, or Jimmy Hart. Did you know that they did not use Kane for months? Freaking Kane, man. A pillar of the WWE for as long as I can remember and they have no idea what to do with him. The other point of interest outside of the Main Event was the Mysterio/Finley vs Ziggler/Knox match. Mysterio is a shirt seller and I love the way they have been using him since he gained the Intercontinental Title and came to Smackdown. Finley was someone I paid attention to until they bogged his entire persona down in the Hornswaggle storyline. Ziggler is one of the fastest moving up and comers in the business and only politics can keep him down. JR has been trying to put Knox over for a year now and I agree that there is a lot of potential there. He just has a new-Gene Snitsky feel to him. Talk about a guy who needs a Mr Fuji. I thought the match was one of the more entertaining of the night and Mysterio got the pinfall in a little bit different way. However, I would still like to see them be more creative with his finishes. I can only see a 619 so many hundreds of times before it gets old. And here is another Mysterio land mine they need to avoid. Back in the WCW days, before he was unmasked but they wanted to push him as a giant killer, he had this gimmick where he could counter any powerbomb. This was fine when he was feuding with Kevin Nash, because that was Nash’s finisher. They would lift him up on their shoulders and then he would end up in a reverse electric chair position, wail away on them, and then they would fall to get pinned. This would suck when some wrestler that never ever uses a powerbomb would all of sudden attempt one so Rey could hit his spot. This is when I became skeptical of Rey’s usefulness in a main event capacity and I have seen some sign of this in the WWE. I would warn to stay away from it, the break in his opponent’s personality is not worth Mysterio hitting every single spot. Finally the only thing to talk about is the main event, Morrison vs Champion Jeffy Hardy for the title and the events after the match. This match started out at a very slow pace as these types of flier vs flier matches often do so that they defy your immediate expectations. I have been a little down on Jeff Hardy recently and I continue to be after this match. I know he may be a little burned out and ready to take some time off but they gave you the title back for God’s sake. Show a little effort. I have liked the new Hardy attitude, don’t get me wrong, the face paint, the new outfits, the edgy craziness. But I don’t like the new Jeff Hardy in the ring. Like RVD before him, there is no use for this guy in the main event if he does not live up to his extreme reputation. I know they don’t want to jump off something high every time they wrestle but if that is what they have built their career on they need to innovate something exciting every time out. If he is going to continue to win matches only hitting mundane spots, then he needs to change his persona to fit this safe, suit-wearing personality. On the other hand, John Morrison completely upstaged Hardy in the ring. I don’t really buy his mic skills. I don’t know if he can pass as a face. He just looks like he is a dick in real life. But in the ring, this guy has been dynamite. He does all kinds of moves using the ropes, and it is just not one or two rote spots like Hardy and Mysterio have come to do. Yeah, he has his finisher, Starship Pain, which is a split-legged corkscrew moonsault that I have never seen anyone else do. But he also does all kinds of other maneuvers off the bottom, middle, AND top ropes. In addition to that he also re-broke out the STANDING shooting star press. That move is awesome from the top rope and I loved it when he used it before. I hope he continues to use it in big matches. So the match turned out to be really good at the end but it finished with Hardy hitting a trite Swanton Bomb and then they decide Morrison gets to save face by kicking out of the first one. So Hardy hits him with another unexciting Twist of Fate, and then another ineffectual Swanton Bomb for the win. Sorry, but the Swanton off the top rope just isn’t exciting when Evan Borne is hitting Shooting Star presses, Morrison is hitting StANDING shooting star presses, and Ring of Honor has a very heavy man, Kevin Steen, hitting Frogsplashes and Moonsualts. Up your game Jeff or you will just be a guy that got a push because kids with bad parents buy your shirts. Proceeding the match, CM Punk came out and absolutely brutalized Hardy. Hardy bled but did not have time to blade so he took a genuine cut. It was vicious, it was uncalled for, and it was great. It looks like Smackdown has a real quality heel to replace Edge, for the time being.

PS: Lets talk about Edge for a minute. He is injured for 9 months and has his career threatened because the wrestlers are forced to participate in bull shit house shows. Those backwards, non-televised shows are a pox on the WWE. They can’t make any money and even if they do, that amount cannot possibly overcome the representative profit the company loses when a superstar gets injured at one, which is often, or the number of years they shave off a career. I understand that they need some time to work on matches and plot what is going to happen, but Edge wasn’t even wrestling someone he was involved with. They need to set up a central location where they all live and work on matches during the week. That way the wrestlers don’t need to be on the road all the time, they can come home to see their families, and everyone can get a rest that will extend their careers in the short term and long term. Imagine Vince, that you had done this 15 years ago and you got to have Stone Cold for lets say 5 more years. You have the internet to sell merchandise and huge tv deals so you don’t have to promote locally anymore. Join the 21st century and start providing some amenities for your employees. They are the product and they sell the product, stop treating a billion dollar business like it is a tent at the state fair.